Life's a bitch ... if you're lucky

A blog about a dog. Not necessarily my dog -- who is the cutest dog in the world -- but dogs in general.

My late-in-life baby, Roxie.

I`ve noticed that, as their children get older, a lot of people acquire a dog. You could speculate that they were waiting until their offspring were old enough to handle one but I think it`s more of a substitution. Parents grow so accustomed to the demands of young children that, when this stops, their is a void in their lives. Since their need to nurture (and if you think you can nurture teenagers, you`re crazy) is no longer being fulfilled, they take on the most childlike pet they can find. Man`s best friend, the lovable pooch.

Dogs are like the easier version of children. They have to be toilet trained but it only takes a few months. They love every toy you bring home to them and will keep playing with them until they wear out (which can sometimes take mere hours). It only takes them one year to mature from puppies to full-on dogs and there are no annoying teenage years or terrible twos. Plus, you can put them in a cage at night or when they're bad.They never ask you for a ride anywhere -- in fact, they prefer walking since cars often mean a trip to "the vet".

There are a lot of advantages to owning a dog. When you come home after a long day at work, they get really excited and lavish you with love and attention -- just like your kids used to do. They follow you around (you know, dog your steps) waiting for the moment when you turn your undivided attention their way. If they`re like my dog, Roxie, they`ll actually perform to get that coveted pat on the head. When you`re sick, they`ll sleep by your side and they keep you healthy by making you take walks and throw things around for them.

As I mentioned, Roxie is the `princess`of our family. If you don`t give her immediate attention, she`ll give you a big hug and hold on as long as possible. This is a really cute trick and very effective, especially with young women (just ask my son's posse of girls). If that doesn`t work, she`ll jump onto a chair to bring her closer to your optimum petting level (she's a knee height dog). Roxie isn`t well trained, so she also has a habit of running up the stairs to our upper floor, yipping as she turns, jumping off the third step on the way down and launching herself full force at her favourite visitors. This can be cute or annoying, depending on your opinion or your sex (men are always warned to protect the goods).

How can you resist the cutest dog in the world?

This week, I picked up a rawhide chew for Roxie when I was at the pet store getting food for the menagerie (I`ll get to that in another blog). No one has been able to go near her bed since. If anyone even gets near the den where her 'bone' is hidden, she growls and snaps at them. Even the cat. She has literally disappeared every night, protecting her precious treat. Of course, that just encourages the men in the household to torment her by pretending to sneak up on her and hiding her chew when she goes outside. Since she`s resting on my feet at the moment, I assume she has finally eaten the thing. It`ll be a long wait until the next one.

Of course, all the adoration that a dog gives to you is well deserved. Think about their life ... they get waited on hand and foot, they sleep whenever and wherever they want, they get stroked just by putting their head in your lap (try that with one of your friends!!), the whole world is their bathroom and any time is playtime. No working, no money troubles, no worrying about kids or parents. They are the only animals that star in their own movies (I'm talking live action here), they have beauty pageants, spas, hotels, TV channels and songs dedicated to them.


It truly is a dog's life.